The title of this first post is what I said to my mum after she suggested I shouldn’t come with the week I had preceding the trip. It’s hilarious to look at in hindsight, everything happened to close together. I’m not some Lemony Snicket character meeting my new guardian after my parents died in a fire with my siblings in tow, or anything (does anyone get that reference?) Right now, however, I’ll admit I was a little worried some higher power was trying to tell me something.
First, I got scammed. I won’t go into details (that could be a whole separate post honestly), but I will say never ever deposit a check from someone you don’t know well. Regardless, I had a drawn-out battle with my bank about getting my money back, and it seemed like they wouldn’t for a while. Hot tip if you get scammed and your bank is refusing to reimburse you – file a complaint with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, they have way more hold over banks than you or me.
The second thing that happened to me was on the medical side of things, involving a gross misdiagnosis and overprescription of medication I never needed (and that, conveniently conflicts with the other medicine I take). Needless to say, I was even sicker (more sick? not sure the correct grammar is) when I left the Urgent Care than when I came in. I had a fever. Not a huge deal for most, I know, but I hadn’t had one since I was four years old – I simply don’t get them. Even when I had COVID, my temperature never when over 99.5.
It’s the same with throwing up, I just never do it. Great immune system, terrible mental health, as my sisters like to quip. So, imagine my utter delight when, seated on the plane before we had even taken off, I yakked all over my favorite khakis and onto my bag. Poor guy next to me was reciting facts about how safe airplanes are (I believe he said he works for Boeing, so he probably knows more than most) and that I have nothing to worry about. I think he was just worried I’d do it again.
Oh, and Michaala, if you’re reading this, thanks for your help and sorry for barfing, like, first thing. I can’t imagine it’s fun sleeping with the faint smell of stomach acid lingering in the stale airplane air, but you were a great sport.
Anyways, I don’t want this first post to be, like, an in-depth analysis paper on my shitty week, so I’ll cut this short and just say it really did seem like the universe was doing everything in its power to stop me from coming.
Too bad, I’m here to stay (for a month).
That’s all from me.
—Max Puckett—
Honorable Mentions of the Week (Actually Good ThingsTM)
- Chili con Carne from the nearby Franprix – takes two minutes to cook and tastes pretty damn delicious, at least to my low expectations of microwaveable dinners.
- Candy my mum packed me as a treat I didn’t know about until after I got onto the flight (and had thrown up, so I didn’t eat any, but it’s the thought that counts). She’s very crunchy, so this was an out-of-character but appreciated move.
- The actually efficient and safe public transportation in Paris – I know, America could never. I haven’t gotten lost once or yelled at by a drunk/old/homeless person there yet, so it’s a win in my book.
- The first Spider Verse movie that came to Disney Plus July 1st. Haven’t watched it yet, as I’m waiting for a rainy day to check it out, but knowing I have the option is nice.
- Meeting the people in the HISP class and getting to know them. Y’all are fun and I’m looking forward to hanging out more as the month progresses.